Backseat Butter Birth!

I apologize for the long blogging break, it has been an extremely busy past couple of weeks (to say the least!).  I have been to 4 labors this week alone, and have 2 other moms in early labor.  So, in honor of all the babies, I thought I would come back to the blogging world by posting about one of my most memorable recent births.

After doula-ing and training to be a midwife for several years, I have always bragged that I get my moms where they want to be before they give birth, and I have never had to catch a baby by myself.  Well, a couple of Tuesdays ago ruined that bragging streak for me…  Mr. M had his own plans, and I was so blessed to be along for the ride!  I am still smilling as I think back on this birth story, and I asked his mom if I could share it with you.  She blogged her version here, and told her story on the radio last week.

I was blessed to get to know D during her first pregnancy.  She had hired a really good doula friend of mine, and birthed with a great doctor at an area hospital.  When she told us she was pregnant for the second time last year, she informed me that she wanted me to be with her this time around.  Needless to say, D is such a precious patient, that I was very excited to oblige!  In January, we sat down to do her birth plan.  Again, she was going to use the same doctor and hospital that she had used with her daughter.  But, this time, she wanted to go into labor on her own (she was induced last time), and she wanted me to help her labor at home.  We discussed how she wanted to leave right before transition hit because she knew this part of labor wouldn’t be easy while riding in the car.  I told her that I would watch her signs and help her as much as possible to distinguish when she needed to leave.  My only problem about being with D at a February birth, was that I was set to be in Austin for a couple of days to take a big licensing exam.  I told them the dates- a Tuesday and Wednesday- I would be gone, and gave them my backup doula’s information.

As my test approached, I was really bummed that D hadn’t called me yet.  I prayed that she would hold off until I got back in town.  When I took a study break on Monday morning, I was really happy to read her Facebook post that said she had gone to the doctor and found out she had made very little progress.  “Good, maybe this baby will hold out for me.” I thought to myself.  Imagine my surprise when she called me late that afternoon, I was packing and stressing out over all I had to do, and I picked up the phone to hear a very excited voice.  “We have contractions!” D exclaimed with excitement on the other end.  “Great!”  I replied, acting as happy as I could about this wonderful timing.  I asked her the usual questions, only to find out that this probably was the real deal starting up.  When I hung up with her, I tried to tell myself it was going to be okay.  Afterall, how do you bring up your schedule and refer one of your moms to a backup when she is so very pumped to finally be in labor?  How do I?  I don’t!  So, I just went about the rest of my day, a little more stressed.  I had told D to get done with her errands, go home and nap and call me back with an update.

Well, as the evening got later and later, I decided to take a study break and text her to check in.  I thought to myself that surely nothing was going on anymore, since she hadn’t called me.  I was wrong- she quickly texted back that she could still work through contractions on her own, but they were getting closer.  At this point, I decided I better wrap up my late study sessions and packing and head to bed.  I was under strict orders to be off call for births, but D didn’t know this.  I decided I would play her birth by ear, but I knew in my heart I’d be going.  Afterall, I just couldn’t miss this one!

Imagine my surprise when I was awoken around 11:30PM by D’s phone call and what seemed to be a party going on in the background.  Yes, D had listened very well to my nap suggestion completely ignored my earlier suggestion to rest, and had invited a bunch of friends over.  She was calling me to ask how long this early labor could last, and letting me know that her party was winding down.  I made her promise me she would go get some rest and keep me posted.  A short half hour labor, K- her husband- called back.  This time I could hear a different kind of party D working hard through contractions in the background.  K would pause on the phone, as every good husband should, to help her work through contractions.  It was killing me to sit on the other end, I wanted to be over there right then!  But, you don’t want to go to a client’s house before you are invited and interrupt their labor by making them feel watched.  So, I waited to be asked.  As soon as a contraction ended- they were coming pretty fast- I could hear D yell to K, “Tell her to come now!”  Thank goodness!  “I am on my way!” I informed K, as I hung up the phone and jumped out of bed.

A little after midnight, I was knocking on D’s door.  K let me in and led me to the bathroom, on my way I saw their toddler peak her excited head over the couch to welcome me.  I love children at birth, such excitement!  I found D relaxing beautifully in the tub during contractions.  She surprised me because she was a lot more relaxed in person than what I had heard over the phone.  As I observed what was going on, her contractions were strong, but they were very short.  She didn’t seem as far along in the tub as she was acting over the phone.  Music blarred from her i-phone, and you could hear her daughter’s precious voice in the living room.  I encouraged her to relax, keep changing positions, drink her juice and pressed on her back during contractions.

Shortly, her best friend (birth photographer) arrived.  The three of us sat in the bathroom, chit chatting through contractions.  I made a comment about her perfect timing, thanking her for doing this before I went out of town in a few hours.  She looked at me with a confused face, ”I thought you didn’t leave until Wednesday.”  As soon as she finished that sentence, she went into another contraction.  When that one was done, I encouraged her to get out of the tub and empty her bladder.  She didn’t want to move, but I told her that if her bladder was full it would make the contractions hurt worse.  With that information, she quickly jumped up and dried herself off to get out.  After a short while out, back in the tub she went.  Then, K came in to brag that he had finally gotten their daughter down  to sleep.  In between D’s contractions, all five of us chatted with excitement.  However, as D’s contractions kept getting longer and stronger, I had a dilema in my head.  She wasn’t bringing up the hospital at all.  I didn’t want to scare her away from laboring more at home, but I wanted her to be thinking about heading to the hospital.  Afterall, she adores her doctor, and I knew that is who she wanted to have catch her baby.  So, how do I bring up the hospital when she isn’t talking about it?  Here is how I put it, “D, you are doing really well, and it’s not too late.  However, you probably want to start thinking about when you want to head to the hospital.  You aren’t going to be able to ride very comfortably in the car if you wait much longer.”  To which she replied, “I was just thinking about that, we should probably start heading that way.” 

She stood up in the bath, and towelled off.  The plan was to empty her bladder again, quickly change clothes and load up for the hospital drive- about 20 minutes away.  Normally, I follow clients in my own car to the hospital.  But, I had a strong sense that I needed to change this plan and ride in the backseat with D.  This would be a problem though…  How would I get back to my car to go back home?  This could mean hours more at the hospital after the birth was done, waiting on a ride.  So, I decided I would ask D if I was okay to take my car and follow them.  This would be perfect because D is so nice and wouldn’t want to inconvenience me with my upcoming trip and all.  She would tell me to take my own car and I’d be free.  Imagine my surprise when she quickly replied, “I need you with me, I can’t do this without you!”  There was my answer, I would be riding with her.  After answering my question, she was sitting on the toilet facing me, she grabbed me and pulled me in close.  Squeezing tightly as a contraction hit hard, she said, “Cindy, I can’t do this!”  D hadn’t complained throughout her entire labor, up until this point.  “Good” I reassured her, “everyone says that as they get to the end, this means you are really close.  We should head out quickly, D, your baby is trying to help you finish this.”  Everyone else was hurrying around outside the bathroom door.  We all knew D was finally moving really fast.  I instructed K to make sure he had towels and plastic bags in the car, just in case D’s water broke or she got nauseous on the way.

D was finally dressed and heading to the door.  I stayed back in the bathroom to quickly pack up my things.  As I finished up and headed to the door, I heard my name hollered from D’s bedroom.  What was she doing in her room?  She was supposed to be in the car!  As I turned the corner, I saw herstanding and leaning over her bed.  She couldn’t relax, and was on her tiptoes contracting.  “I think my water is breaking!”  She yelled.  I pressed on her hips and encouraged her to work through this contraction.  Contractions were coming really strong and fast now, only leaving her seconds to try to relax in between.  “Will you check me to see how far along I am, before we go?”  She questioned.  “No, I really don’t want to waste time doing that.  You are really far along.  I will if you absolutely want me to, but I think we should head that way.”  I responded.  Her family and friends agreed.  D waddled to the garage, and we followed to help her load in the car.  The frigid outside air met us.

D climbed in K’s car, the leather seats were really cold.  She got in on her hands and knees in the small backseat, facing the back passenger’s window.  I crowded in, facing her back so that I could continue to do hip squeezes during the car ride.  As we pulled out of the drive, I instructed K to call the hospital and give them a head’s up that we were heading that way.  Before we could turn out of the drive, D told me she felt like she needed to use the bathroom, then a contraction hit strong.  I could feel her body slowly start pushing, and I squeezed hard and encouraged her to breathe deep.  ”Don’t push, just breathe.”  And, we made it through that contraction.  We merged onto the highway, and here came another strong contraction.  We passed the first of several hospitals on the way, and I thought to myself, “Should I ask them if they want to exit?”  I was just feeling we weren’t going to make it.  I chose not to say anything.  K was driving really slowly, what a calm dad!  Then, we passed the exit to the birthing center, and again I wondered if we should exit.  But, I continued to say nothing because I knew how badly D wanted to make it to her hospital and doctor.  Then, as we passed the second hospital, I could feel a strong contraction start and D really couldn’t hold back her pushing.  “This baby is coming!”  She screamed.  I pulled down her underwear, and I could feel the top of the baby’s wet, warm head meeting my hands.  I never get tired of this feeling, it is the most incredible feeling in the world!  What an honor and a privilege to be the first to help welcome a precious new life!!

I didn’t know how K would react from the front seat, and I didn’t want him to panic.  So, I said as calmly as possible, “We need to pull over.”  To which he questioned, “Are you sure we can’t make it, you really want me to pull over?”  D and I screamed back at the same time, “No, pull over!”  Pretty soon, we were coming to a halt on the side of the highway.  “I need you to push.”  I instructed D.  She was holding her knees closely together, in order not to fall off of the small backseat.  The baby wasn’t sliding out easily, and I was praying in my head, “Please let this baby come sliding out, and let him yell as he comes.”  As soon as D let her legs open a little more and pushed, out came a perfect, wet crying baby, his cord was wrapped around his neck and laced around his body.  My hands were covered in fluid and baby poop.  I laughed to myself, as I looked down at my bag, which held my gloves, on the floorboard.  So much for those gloves!  I passed M between his mom’s legs into her arms.  K was running around from the frontseat to the back of the car and opened the back door at this point, and the photographer had parked behind us and was running up to meet D too.  I laughed to think what was going through everyone’s head, as we had pulled over.  Everyone laughed as we listened to the precious cries, and the world stood still around us.  D announced that they had a little boy!  I was very thankful the towels and plastic bag were brought along.  Who would have guessed we would have put them to such good use?!

As D nursed M, I asked them what they wanted to do.  Did they want me to call a midwife and go back to their home or the birth center?  Did they want to go to one of the nearby hospitals?  Or, did they want to continue on to their hospital?  They chose the later; and, instead of driving on, they chose to call an ambulance to take them there.  Everything was perfect, mom was not bleeding and baby was bundled up and happily eating. 

When the paramedics finally arrived- 2 firetrucks and an ambulance, I updated them that mom was ready to deliver her placenta.  Her cord had stopped pulsating.  One of the paramedics had me hold his flashlight, as he pulled out a small barf bag to catch the placenta with.  I thought to myself, “Has he ever seen a placenta?!”  There was no way a placenta would fit in that little bag!  Watching him trying to deliver it answered my question.  I offered to help him, as his hands shook.  He followed my instructions, and out came the placenta.  He grinned and gave me a big hug, “Thanks so much for all of your help!”  When we arrived at the hospital, the nurses asked him if he was scared to answer the call, knowing that it was a birth.  “It was only my second run out.”  He said, “But, it was okay because she had a nurse with her.”  He pointed to me.  Ha, ‘nurse Cindy’.  What a hoot!  I got another thank-you hug before he left, as he congratulated the family. 

D’s doctor came in, and wanted to hear the full story.  She was shocked to have missed the birth.  D’s family arrived shortly after us at the hospital, they were so happy to meet Mr. M!  Later, D’s mom and K and I walked out to his car.  They were shocked as they got a look at his backseat.  I reassured them that I could clean it and get it back to its ’pre-birth’ condition.  After cleaning it, I returned to D’s room to chat with the family some more.  Soon after, we were moving to a recovery room, and I was telling the family bye.  As I hugged D, she thanked me and said, “If you don’t ace your test after that…” 

I drove home with a huge smile on my face, amazed at such amazing early morning events…  Have I said how much I love what I do?!  I am so blessed!