Ellington’s Grand Entrance- Part 1

Those who know me well, knew I was very nervous and apprehensive going into Ellington’s labor and birth after all the work that was required of me to birth Harper a couple of years ago.  A few days before her birth, after nightly nesting sessions that left me with a spotless house in the morning but a baby who stayed put in my belly, I posted a Facebook status about how I felt like I was standing in line to ride a roller coaster.  I went on the to describe the feeling of seeing that my turn on the big, scary ride was coming soon and there was no way out of the line.  All that was left for me to do was get on the ride, ride it, and finally be done.  A mentor and precious friend posted this encouragement in reply, which I will never forget:

“‘Up, down, up, down. Oh, what a ride! I always wanted to go again. You know, it was just so interesting to me that a ride could make me so frightened, so scared, so sick, so excited, and so thrilled all together! Some didn’t like it. They went on the merry-go-round. That just goes around. Nothing. I like the roller coaster. You get more out of it.’  ~Grandma~ from the movie ‘Parenthood’.  We, like a long list of others, eagerly await with you for the roller coaster ride to begin. I pray, that after the wait in line for your turn, the birth experience is as exciting and as a quick ride on the roller coaster and you will say that was incredible, can’t wait to do it again!!! Interceding for you, Jim Bob, and Harper and the others God has ordained to be part of this experience.  Keep your mind on things above because Isaiah 26:3 says that is where perfect peace is and the promise that comes by trusting and keeping your mind stayed on Him.  Your wonderfully, fearfully made body will deliver this sweet baby as you worship and relax in His peace.”

Kim spoke such incredible confidence and peace into my life through those words, I teared up, read them to Jim Bob and clung to them every time that pit of fear welled up in my stomach.  However, the reason why I will never forget them is because looking back on those words, she foretold exactly how our birth would go.  How awesome to read them afterwards!

Dear Ellington,

Here is the story, as mommy experienced it, of how you made your grand entrance into our home.  Mommy was due with you on December 21st, and she knew if you came 4 days over- like your big brother had- that you would end up sharing your birthday with daddy on Christmas.  This was something your daddy really hoped for, so mommy really felt this is when you’d make your appearance.  Unlike your brother’s pregnancy though, your pregnancy always left mommy wondering if “today would be the day”.  Weeks before it was safe for you to be born, mommy felt a lot of early contractions.  Therefore, every morning that I woke up with you still in my belly, I was pretty surprised to still be pregnant.  It could be that we just stayed extra busy during the last months of your pregnancy.

On Christmas Eve, I knew we were getting extra close to having you.  I really didn’t want to brave the crowds at the grocery store, but our slim pickings at the house coupled with the fact that I knew I’d have to be at home with you for a couple of weeks, forced me to plan one last trip out.  The funnier part about that, two friends who were anxiously waiting on your arrival had been texting and calling me that morning that I should go to Whole Foods because it would surely put me into labor if nothing else had.  So, Aunt Christy came over, and we decided to go to Whole Foods, shop and then go look at Christmas lights.  We got to Whole Foods around 4:30 in the afternoon, and on the way there, I started having some pretty strong uncomfortable Braxton-Hicks.  The cramping, pressure and BHs got worse when we were walking through the store.  I had to pause a couple of times, and the shopping trip that I usually really enjoy was quite miserable because all the food and smells were really making me nauseous.  We managed to get what we needed, loaded up and were off to see lights.  Had I been on my own, I would have skipped the lights and come home to go to bed because I really wasn’t feeling very well.

When we got home, I invited Christy in to hang out- like we usually do- but she told me she was going to go ahead and head home in case I was in early labor.  She said she wanted to give us plenty of family time and allow me privacy to take a warm bath.  She gave me a big hug and encouraged me that she’d be praying and she was excited for me.  She left, and I continued to work on the house- making sure everything was in order.  Although I always love the end of pregnancy, keeping the house in order with your older brother was really hard every night.  I looked forward to having you so that I could rest and not have to worry constantly about what state of order the house was or was not in.  Christy text periodically to check in on me, and when she asked if I’d had my bath yet, I had to laugh because of how busy I had kept myself since she left.  At times the contractions were there, and at others I sensed no activity.  Once the house was to my likings, I settled down to finish some last minute Christmas gifts.  Donnellyn text me that she was going to come by and drop off gifts if it was not too late.  Your brother and daddy were wrestling and being loud, and Harper was glad we’d kept him up later than usual because he was so happy to see Donnellyn and Chris (Bebe and Dadaw).  We exchanged gifts with them, hung out and chatted for a while, and then they all laid hands on and prayed for me and over your birth before they left for the night.  It was  a really sweet evening!  Daddy put Harper to bed once they left, and another friend- Ashley- text to see if it was too late to come by and drop off a gift.  I told her we were up, so she came by.  She stayed and talked for a while too, leaving around midnight.  Then, I came in to watch some television in bed, while daddy went across the house to shave in the guest bathroom.

While lying on my left side in bed- this had been the most comfortable position for mommy during your pregnancy- and watching “House Hunters”, I all of a sudden got an extremely sharp pain in my left side.  I shut the TV off immediately, it was too much to handle with the pain and drove me crazy to hear, and I jumped onto all fours in bed.  I was moaning, got hot and sweaty from the pain, and wanted to do whatever I could to make the sensation go away.  Where was your daddy?  I needed him to help me, but I couldn’t vocalize.  All I could manage to do was try my best to deal with the pain and not pass out from it.  It let up for a few seconds, so I jumped out of bed and leaned on the lingerie chest.  Then, I moved into the living room and threw myself on the couch.  I couldn’t see your daddy anywhere.  Finally, I felt him walk up as I was moaning and rolling around on the couch in pain.  He asked with concern, “What’s going on?”  But, it hurt too bad to explain.  When he figured out I couldn’t talk, he started gently massaging my leg and encouraging me to just breathe.  As soon as the pain subsided, I tried to explain to him what had been going on.  Our chat was short lived because I had to rush to the bathroom and throw up.  It was 1:07 in the morning.  I started crying and confessing how scared I was.  Not only was I terrified of having to experience labor and birth again, but I was really wanting to crawl in bed and get some good rest before the work that lie ahead.  I just kept telling your daddy, “I need sleep!”  He would pray short prayers over me, and then he helped me get in a hot bath.

I texts several people- mostly moms who I knew were probably up nursing their babies- and asked them for prayer, it was 1:56AM.  Kate text back at 2:38AM that she was praying.  I didn’t hear back from a lot of people, but would later find out that the Lord woke people up in the middle of the night to pray for us; so many people who didn’t know what was going on shared how they had prayed.  God is so faithful, I have never seen or felt that more than during your pregnancy, and especially during your labor and birth.  I kept explaining to your daddy how scared the side pain had me.  I felt nothing in my stomach, and wasn’t really sure this was labor.  However, when I felt the pain, he felt my stomach and said I was tight all over; I couldn’t see any concern in him (which is always so reassuring), and he kept telling me he really felt I was in labor.  I had him put our worship playlist on in the bedroom, and this began a really sweet time for us.  God is so good!  Lindsy Morton- who I had heard at another labor- played through the room and bathroom.  I could totally surrender and focus on these calm, old familiar hymns.  Anytime the pain or fear hit, I would just tune into the words of the songs.  We would often just sing the phrases aloud in worship together, taking our minds off of what was going on and focusing on Jesus and His faithfulness.  Daddy slept in the bedroom, and I managed to doze a bit in the tub.  Again, this was such a miracle because during your brother’s birth I couldn’t allow your daddy to walk away from me.  The Lord was my provision and comfort before your daddy during this birth though, and I knew I had to let him rest in case we had a long day ahead of us or if he needed to take care of Harper when he awoke in the morning.  If a song wasn’t playing immediately when I needed something to concentrate on, I would hear over and over- and sometimes sing aloud by myself- in my head, “Jesus, Jesus, sweetest name I know…  Feels my every longing, keeps me singing as I go.”

Eventually I got out of the tub, I think it was after 2AM at this point, and was able to position myself with tons of pillows in the bed lying on my right side.  As long as I didn’t move and nothing touched my left side where all the pain was, I could doze in and out of sleep.  The worship music kept playing, and when it shut off, I’d wake up to have your daddy turn it back on.  At 3:13AM, I contacted Donnellyn to ask her about my side pain.  Later, I’d find out that she woke up and prayed and did research to make sure I wasn’t having appendicitis.  Daddy later said he’d wondered at some points if it wasn’t a kidney stone.  Again, I am so grateful that it was labor and nothing more; I couldn’t have handled anything else on top of the labor and no sleep!  Between that phone call and 6AM, I don’t think much happened.  I mostly slept, and was occasionally awoken by the side pain or mild low front contractions.  Around 6AM, your daddy and I both woke up.  I remember moving back into the bathroom, and this time I felt strong, low contractions.  I would move around the bathroom- sometimes sitting on the toilet, sometimes leaning over the counter and other times resting in the tub again.

At 6:16AM, daddy called GB to come over in case Harper woke up.  She was so anxious for me to finally have you, so this was a phone call she answered with much excitement.  She was at the front door of our house shortly!  Again, the Lord was so good to us because Harper stayed asleep until she got here.  At 6:52AM, daddy called Donnellyn again to give her an update.  She talked to me, but I had to hang up on her because I couldn’t handle the phone and a contraction.  She encouraged daddy to go ahead and call Lynsey because she thought I was pretty far along based on what she heard in the background.  I knew Christmas morning was really important to Lynsey, and was thinking in my head that I would be content if I could wait until 8AM to call her.  I thought that her kids probably would have woken up early and she could have at least enjoyed a little time with them before she had to leave for our house if I could hold off until 8AM.  Good thing daddy didn’t listen to my reasoning and followed Donnellyn’s advice to go ahead and have her come!  He called Lynsey at 6:59AM to tell her what was going on.  He then hung up with her and they text messaged back and forth deciding that she’d be on her way soon (7:10AM).  By 7:25AM, Christy was on her way, and 7:26AM Donnellyn was on her way and arrived at 7:40AM.

I didn’t want to think your birth was near because I was so worried about being discouraged if I really wasn’t far along.  Daddy would whisper the times he noted of how far apart they were and how long they were lasting.  We both assumed at one point he was timing wrong because they were on top of each other.  When I would hear him tell me how long the contractions were, I would think to myself that he wasn’t watching me correctly because although they were really strong, they felt really short to me (way shorter than he was saying they lasted).  However, I remember looking down at one point when I was standing in the bathroom and realizing that I was jogging in place.  This is the exact same motion I had done with your brother when I was 8-9cm along.  But, I thought to myself that surely I wasn’t that far along because even though the contractions hurt really badly, I didn’t feel a lot of pressure yet.  The peak of the contractions would almost overtake me because the front muscle pulling above my pubic bone was so intense.  To handle them, I would either moan loudly, move my legs in the jogging motion, have your daddy apply pressure to my back, sing my worship music and/or remind the Lord that I needed Him and He had promised these contractions and sensations would not overtake me.

Once all the phone calls were made and GB was here to take care of Harper, your daddy told me he was going to start filling the birth tub in our bedroom, while I sat and labored in the bathroom tub.  With your brother’s birth, jets drove me crazy while I was contracting.  The sound of the water from the shower filling the birth tub drove me crazy during your contractions.  So, your poor dad would turn on the shower water, and have to rush to shut it off when I started a contraction.  He was running all over the house taking care of everything and coming back to help me work through each contraction…  Again, good thing he’d managed to sleep through the night off and on.  I sipped on water and apple juice and chewed on Sonic ice.  I hadn’t eaten (except for a couple of blackberries in the middle of the night) and knew I needed to, even though I felt so nauseous and continued to throw up ever so often.  The throwing up was horrible, but I just kept visualizing the pressure from it helping me to make progress and dilate.  “Each time you get sick, it’s worth at least 1cm.”  That’s what I tell other moms during their labors, and it has to be true, right?  That mental image is how I kept myself from fighting not to throw up; I knew if I just let my body do what it needed to that you would come faster, and I’d feel so much better once it was all over.  I had daddy bring me some salty almonds, which I managed to get half of an almond down.  I laughed when your labor was over because the other half stayed on the side of the tub.

When Donnellyn arrived, I could tell she was so excited to finally be at my birth.  I remember her encouraging me, rubbing my arm as I sit in the tub and worked through contractions, praying for us and singing with my worship music as she took my vitals.  Your heart tones were so much higher than I remembered your brother’s being during his labor, and each time they were monitored I would smile knowing that how fast your heart was beating meant you were doing great.  Then, when Christy got here, I remember her getting a fan for me because I was so hot (even though the hot water helped the contraction pain so much), she encouraged me too, worked really hard to help daddy get your room ready, and charted everything Donnellyn said.  I felt such relief when I briefly opened my eyes between contractions to see Lynsey walking in the room with her camera.  Daddy came in and asked if I wanted my sports bra, which he had ready in hand.  “Yes.”  I answered as I snatched it and put it on quickly before starting another contraction.  I was so happy to be decently modest for my pictures this time.  Ever so often, I would hear her camera snap softly or see her flash go off through closed eyes and it gave me so much joy to know your labor was being captured.  I told everyone that they’d have to decide when to call Danielle and Kate because I didn’t know what was going on.  I kept asking if I was relaxing okay because at times it did feel like the contractions were overtaking me.  I would often yell out as a contraction was starting that everyone needed to be quiet.  Noise drove me crazy!  Donnellyn and Christy would encourage me that I was doing great and it wasn’t going to be much longer; I remember Christy telling daddy he should go ahead and get Danielle here because I seemed to be getting close.  He text messaged Kate at 8AM that I was contracting every 2 minutes, and called Danielle to come at 8:16AM.  I liked what she was saying, but I reminded myself that I felt this way at your brother’s birth and I still had a lot more work ahead of me.  I didn’t want to think I’d have to endure this much longer, but I couldn’t let myself think I was anywhere close to being done.  Finally the birth tub was ready, and I was able to move into our bedroom to get into it.  I was so scared to get out of the water because the contractions were already so intense in the water.  But, I moved quickly and made it in.  I remember thinking the soft floor felt so nice on my knees, but the water was too cold.  I quickly told them to please warm the water up, right as a contraction started.  I can vividly remember the sensation of the warm water coming out of the hose onto my back as I focused to make it through a strong contraction.

Daddy would lean over the outside of the tub and put pressure on my back during contractions, whisper encouragement to me, hold a cold rag on my forehead and rub my shoulders.  I kept moving in different positions- hands and knees, on my knees leaning over edge of tub, resting on my side, and sitting with my legs extended out.  After one strong contraction and a lot of intense muscle pulling low in front again, I quickly decided to check myself.  I felt a big piece of cervix in the front.  Donnellyn saw me and asked, “What did you feel?”  To which I replied with discouragement, “A huge lip!”  After a couple more contractions, I saw her put on a glove, so I asked, “Are you wanting to check me?”  She answered, “Yes, if that’s ok, I’d really like to.”  I was so reluctant to have her do so.  I was feeling a lot more pressure, but it still didn’t feel good or like I was close to the end.  The last thing I wanted to hear was a number of dilation because I didn’t want to know I had more work ahead of me.  But, if I didn’t let her check me and I was far along, I wouldn’t know the encouragement of all the work that I’d already accomplished.  I agreed to be checked.  You could have heard a pin drop in the room as she quickly examined me.  I know everyone was praying I was dilated!