First of all, allow me to open this post by thanking you for being so patient with me.  I know I haven’t been around much.  Growing baby number two has definitely kept me in bed and in the bathroom a lot more than I would like.  But, hopefully I am soon to be over the hump; and, at least I can look at precious Harper and know that what I am enduring is so worth it!  All that to say, I hope to be posting a lot more often here pretty soon. 

These past couple of weeks have been pretty interesting, and I’ve heard some conversations I wanted to bring up for discussion.  People’s choices, especially in this country, are so interesting to me!  The things we allow and the things we outright choose can be quite perplexing to my little brain.  I wonder, do you see something wrong with this picture?

“What picture?” you ask.  Well, allow me to share what I am talking about.  At a party this weekend, I stood listening to a labor and delivery nurse at a new, local hospital and another lady who works at an OB/GYN practice discussing some changes that were about to take place.  The lady from the OB/GYN office was telling the hospital nurse that a bunch of their OBs were about to come on staff at her new hospital.  To which the nurse replied, she already knew this information plus the fact that they were getting even more doctors from some other practices.  Then, the nurse went on to share that the talk at the hospital had been all about how they were going to handle all of the new births (business) that these OBs would bring their way when they came on staff.  After all, this hospital doesn’t have that many birth rooms.  Her solution?  They better get triage and the operating rooms ready for the overflow they were bound to have!  Admittedly, though, they both confessed that this probably wouldn’t be the perfect solution because the operating room would already be full with surgeries. 

So let me get this straight?  Women are going to choose to pay thousands of dollars to birth in a hospital.  During their pregnancy, they will tour the hospital and see these nice birth-rooms, planning out their perfect hospital birth in their heads.  Then, on the big day, they show up to be told, “Whoops, we hired more doctors and right now we are filled to capacity.  Would you like to deliver in a large room where the beds are separated by curtains?  Or, would you like to be taken into the OR with big lights, where you won’t be having surgery, but the feeling will be much the same?”  What?  Doesn’t that sound to you like a perfectly legitimate option and two great choices?  Maybe if you’ve never experienced these rooms in a hospital. 

Ironically enough, after overhearing this conversation, I was called to doula a hospital birth.  When I got there, guess where the mom was?  In triage.  Sitting on her twin bed because as the nurse informed her, “This is triage, we have different rules that birth rooms, and no, you may not use your birth ball.  You will be in this bed.”  Why was she in triage?  Well, even though her water had broken, the staff was trying to decide if they were going to admit her.  Anyone ever heard of a hospital sending a mom home and not admitting them when they have ruptured membranes?  Nope?  Me neither!  So, do I think it is a big possibility that this hospital didn’t have a room available for this mom and was stalling?  Absolutely!  Did the fact that she was forced to lay on her back in that triage bed until she was complete and pushing convince me of my opinion more?  Absolutely!  I am just so thankful that this particular mom did an amazing job and was able to endure what most women could have never done.  She had her baby beautifully and naturally- even under the stress of a rude nurse in a little triage room- without medication as she desired. 

Yet another reason that choices in this country not only amaze but sadden me!  I am all for- and grateful for- hospitals, when they are necessary.  The problem is, most in this country are uneducated and misinformed when it comes to their options.  Therefore, we crowd our hospital rooms with births that shouldn’t be taken there at all, and we are now forced to use hospitals rooms to have births in that weren’t meant to have women birthing in them.  Why choose to go to a place that is designated to save sick and dying people to birth a healthy baby?  And, now- in this country- most are choosing to pay a high dollar to do so and  forfeit the comfort they were promised on their tour they would have.

I apologize for the long blogging break, it has been an extremely busy past couple of weeks (to say the least!).  I have been to 4 labors this week alone, and have 2 other moms in early labor.  So, in honor of all the babies, I thought I would come back to the blogging world by posting about one of my most memorable recent births.

After doula-ing and training to be a midwife for several years, I have always bragged that I get my moms where they want to be before they give birth, and I have never had to catch a baby by myself.  Well, a couple of Tuesdays ago ruined that bragging streak for me…  Mr. M had his own plans, and I was so blessed to be along for the ride!  I am still smilling as I think back on this birth story, and I asked his mom if I could share it with you.  She blogged her version here, and told her story on the radio last week.

I was blessed to get to know D during her first pregnancy.  She had hired a really good doula friend of mine, and birthed with a great doctor at an area hospital.  When she told us she was pregnant for the second time last year, she informed me that she wanted me to be with her this time around.  Needless to say, D is such a precious patient, that I was very excited to oblige!  In January, we sat down to do her birth plan.  Again, she was going to use the same doctor and hospital that she had used with her daughter.  But, this time, she wanted to go into labor on her own (she was induced last time), and she wanted me to help her labor at home.  We discussed how she wanted to leave right before transition hit because she knew this part of labor wouldn’t be easy while riding in the car.  I told her that I would watch her signs and help her as much as possible to distinguish when she needed to leave.  My only problem about being with D at a February birth, was that I was set to be in Austin for a couple of days to take a big licensing exam.  I told them the dates- a Tuesday and Wednesday- I would be gone, and gave them my backup doula’s information.

As my test approached, I was really bummed that D hadn’t called me yet.  I prayed that she would hold off until I got back in town.  When I took a study break on Monday morning, I was really happy to read her Facebook post that said she had gone to the doctor and found out she had made very little progress.  “Good, maybe this baby will hold out for me.” I thought to myself.  Imagine my surprise when she called me late that afternoon, I was packing and stressing out over all I had to do, and I picked up the phone to hear a very excited voice.  “We have contractions!” D exclaimed with excitement on the other end.  “Great!”  I replied, acting as happy as I could about this wonderful timing.  I asked her the usual questions, only to find out that this probably was the real deal starting up.  When I hung up with her, I tried to tell myself it was going to be okay.  Afterall, how do you bring up your schedule and refer one of your moms to a backup when she is so very pumped to finally be in labor?  How do I?  I don’t!  So, I just went about the rest of my day, a little more stressed.  I had told D to get done with her errands, go home and nap and call me back with an update.

Well, as the evening got later and later, I decided to take a study break and text her to check in.  I thought to myself that surely nothing was going on anymore, since she hadn’t called me.  I was wrong- she quickly texted back that she could still work through contractions on her own, but they were getting closer.  At this point, I decided I better wrap up my late study sessions and packing and head to bed.  I was under strict orders to be off call for births, but D didn’t know this.  I decided I would play her birth by ear, but I knew in my heart I’d be going.  Afterall, I just couldn’t miss this one!

Imagine my surprise when I was awoken around 11:30PM by D’s phone call and what seemed to be a party going on in the background.  Yes, D had listened very well to my nap suggestion completely ignored my earlier suggestion to rest, and had invited a bunch of friends over.  She was calling me to ask how long this early labor could last, and letting me know that her party was winding down.  I made her promise me she would go get some rest and keep me posted.  A short half hour labor, K- her husband- called back.  This time I could hear a different kind of party D working hard through contractions in the background.  K would pause on the phone, as every good husband should, to help her work through contractions.  It was killing me to sit on the other end, I wanted to be over there right then!  But, you don’t want to go to a client’s house before you are invited and interrupt their labor by making them feel watched.  So, I waited to be asked.  As soon as a contraction ended- they were coming pretty fast- I could hear D yell to K, “Tell her to come now!”  Thank goodness!  “I am on my way!” I informed K, as I hung up the phone and jumped out of bed.

A little after midnight, I was knocking on D’s door.  K let me in and led me to the bathroom, on my way I saw their toddler peak her excited head over the couch to welcome me.  I love children at birth, such excitement!  I found D relaxing beautifully in the tub during contractions.  She surprised me because she was a lot more relaxed in person than what I had heard over the phone.  As I observed what was going on, her contractions were strong, but they were very short.  She didn’t seem as far along in the tub as she was acting over the phone.  Music blarred from her i-phone, and you could hear her daughter’s precious voice in the living room.  I encouraged her to relax, keep changing positions, drink her juice and pressed on her back during contractions.

Shortly, her best friend (birth photographer) arrived.  The three of us sat in the bathroom, chit chatting through contractions.  I made a comment about her perfect timing, thanking her for doing this before I went out of town in a few hours.  She looked at me with a confused face, ”I thought you didn’t leave until Wednesday.”  As soon as she finished that sentence, she went into another contraction.  When that one was done, I encouraged her to get out of the tub and empty her bladder.  She didn’t want to move, but I told her that if her bladder was full it would make the contractions hurt worse.  With that information, she quickly jumped up and dried herself off to get out.  After a short while out, back in the tub she went.  Then, K came in to brag that he had finally gotten their daughter down  to sleep.  In between D’s contractions, all five of us chatted with excitement.  However, as D’s contractions kept getting longer and stronger, I had a dilema in my head.  She wasn’t bringing up the hospital at all.  I didn’t want to scare her away from laboring more at home, but I wanted her to be thinking about heading to the hospital.  Afterall, she adores her doctor, and I knew that is who she wanted to have catch her baby.  So, how do I bring up the hospital when she isn’t talking about it?  Here is how I put it, “D, you are doing really well, and it’s not too late.  However, you probably want to start thinking about when you want to head to the hospital.  You aren’t going to be able to ride very comfortably in the car if you wait much longer.”  To which she replied, “I was just thinking about that, we should probably start heading that way.” 

She stood up in the bath, and towelled off.  The plan was to empty her bladder again, quickly change clothes and load up for the hospital drive- about 20 minutes away.  Normally, I follow clients in my own car to the hospital.  But, I had a strong sense that I needed to change this plan and ride in the backseat with D.  This would be a problem though…  How would I get back to my car to go back home?  This could mean hours more at the hospital after the birth was done, waiting on a ride.  So, I decided I would ask D if I was okay to take my car and follow them.  This would be perfect because D is so nice and wouldn’t want to inconvenience me with my upcoming trip and all.  She would tell me to take my own car and I’d be free.  Imagine my surprise when she quickly replied, “I need you with me, I can’t do this without you!”  There was my answer, I would be riding with her.  After answering my question, she was sitting on the toilet facing me, she grabbed me and pulled me in close.  Squeezing tightly as a contraction hit hard, she said, “Cindy, I can’t do this!”  D hadn’t complained throughout her entire labor, up until this point.  “Good” I reassured her, “everyone says that as they get to the end, this means you are really close.  We should head out quickly, D, your baby is trying to help you finish this.”  Everyone else was hurrying around outside the bathroom door.  We all knew D was finally moving really fast.  I instructed K to make sure he had towels and plastic bags in the car, just in case D’s water broke or she got nauseous on the way.

D was finally dressed and heading to the door.  I stayed back in the bathroom to quickly pack up my things.  As I finished up and headed to the door, I heard my name hollered from D’s bedroom.  What was she doing in her room?  She was supposed to be in the car!  As I turned the corner, I saw herstanding and leaning over her bed.  She couldn’t relax, and was on her tiptoes contracting.  “I think my water is breaking!”  She yelled.  I pressed on her hips and encouraged her to work through this contraction.  Contractions were coming really strong and fast now, only leaving her seconds to try to relax in between.  “Will you check me to see how far along I am, before we go?”  She questioned.  “No, I really don’t want to waste time doing that.  You are really far along.  I will if you absolutely want me to, but I think we should head that way.”  I responded.  Her family and friends agreed.  D waddled to the garage, and we followed to help her load in the car.  The frigid outside air met us.

D climbed in K’s car, the leather seats were really cold.  She got in on her hands and knees in the small backseat, facing the back passenger’s window.  I crowded in, facing her back so that I could continue to do hip squeezes during the car ride.  As we pulled out of the drive, I instructed K to call the hospital and give them a head’s up that we were heading that way.  Before we could turn out of the drive, D told me she felt like she needed to use the bathroom, then a contraction hit strong.  I could feel her body slowly start pushing, and I squeezed hard and encouraged her to breathe deep.  ”Don’t push, just breathe.”  And, we made it through that contraction.  We merged onto the highway, and here came another strong contraction.  We passed the first of several hospitals on the way, and I thought to myself, “Should I ask them if they want to exit?”  I was just feeling we weren’t going to make it.  I chose not to say anything.  K was driving really slowly, what a calm dad!  Then, we passed the exit to the birthing center, and again I wondered if we should exit.  But, I continued to say nothing because I knew how badly D wanted to make it to her hospital and doctor.  Then, as we passed the second hospital, I could feel a strong contraction start and D really couldn’t hold back her pushing.  “This baby is coming!”  She screamed.  I pulled down her underwear, and I could feel the top of the baby’s wet, warm head meeting my hands.  I never get tired of this feeling, it is the most incredible feeling in the world!  What an honor and a privilege to be the first to help welcome a precious new life!!

I didn’t know how K would react from the front seat, and I didn’t want him to panic.  So, I said as calmly as possible, “We need to pull over.”  To which he questioned, “Are you sure we can’t make it, you really want me to pull over?”  D and I screamed back at the same time, “No, pull over!”  Pretty soon, we were coming to a halt on the side of the highway.  “I need you to push.”  I instructed D.  She was holding her knees closely together, in order not to fall off of the small backseat.  The baby wasn’t sliding out easily, and I was praying in my head, “Please let this baby come sliding out, and let him yell as he comes.”  As soon as D let her legs open a little more and pushed, out came a perfect, wet crying baby, his cord was wrapped around his neck and laced around his body.  My hands were covered in fluid and baby poop.  I laughed to myself, as I looked down at my bag, which held my gloves, on the floorboard.  So much for those gloves!  I passed M between his mom’s legs into her arms.  K was running around from the frontseat to the back of the car and opened the back door at this point, and the photographer had parked behind us and was running up to meet D too.  I laughed to think what was going through everyone’s head, as we had pulled over.  Everyone laughed as we listened to the precious cries, and the world stood still around us.  D announced that they had a little boy!  I was very thankful the towels and plastic bag were brought along.  Who would have guessed we would have put them to such good use?!

As D nursed M, I asked them what they wanted to do.  Did they want me to call a midwife and go back to their home or the birth center?  Did they want to go to one of the nearby hospitals?  Or, did they want to continue on to their hospital?  They chose the later; and, instead of driving on, they chose to call an ambulance to take them there.  Everything was perfect, mom was not bleeding and baby was bundled up and happily eating. 

When the paramedics finally arrived- 2 firetrucks and an ambulance, I updated them that mom was ready to deliver her placenta.  Her cord had stopped pulsating.  One of the paramedics had me hold his flashlight, as he pulled out a small barf bag to catch the placenta with.  I thought to myself, “Has he ever seen a placenta?!”  There was no way a placenta would fit in that little bag!  Watching him trying to deliver it answered my question.  I offered to help him, as his hands shook.  He followed my instructions, and out came the placenta.  He grinned and gave me a big hug, “Thanks so much for all of your help!”  When we arrived at the hospital, the nurses asked him if he was scared to answer the call, knowing that it was a birth.  “It was only my second run out.”  He said, “But, it was okay because she had a nurse with her.”  He pointed to me.  Ha, ‘nurse Cindy’.  What a hoot!  I got another thank-you hug before he left, as he congratulated the family. 

D’s doctor came in, and wanted to hear the full story.  She was shocked to have missed the birth.  D’s family arrived shortly after us at the hospital, they were so happy to meet Mr. M!  Later, D’s mom and K and I walked out to his car.  They were shocked as they got a look at his backseat.  I reassured them that I could clean it and get it back to its ’pre-birth’ condition.  After cleaning it, I returned to D’s room to chat with the family some more.  Soon after, we were moving to a recovery room, and I was telling the family bye.  As I hugged D, she thanked me and said, “If you don’t ace your test after that…” 

I drove home with a huge smile on my face, amazed at such amazing early morning events…  Have I said how much I love what I do?!  I am so blessed!

I have a great birth story to share that I am honored to have been a part of, even if I would have changed a couple of things along the way .  I told this mom early this morning that I would have to share her story on my blog, as an encouragement to other moms like me (and so that you could get a good laugh out of how I spent my night).  See, this mom had had a very long first labor- very similar to mine with Harper.  And, like me, she was able to finish it out, have her son where she wanted, and totally natural at that (so proud of her!).  When she asked me to be her doula this time around, with son number two, I was very honored and excited.  And, I began encouraging her about how second babies come so much faster than the first ones do.  We both agreed we hoped this would be the case. 

This week, she called me to tell me her midwife had checked her at an appointment and said she was pretty far along already.  She wasn’t really contracting, but expected when she started that things would probably move fast, and she just wanted to give me a heads up.  She lives outside of west Fort Worth and was planning to birth at a birthing center in Denton, but wanted me to support her in labor at home before going to the center. 

Last night, after being out late with a friend in the hospital, I came home to finish up some work before heading to bed.  At 12:29AM, my phone rang, while I was sitting at the computer.  It was my client on the other end, telling me she had just woken up to her water breaking, and although she wasn’t contracting that much or hard yet, she was ready for me to head to her house.  I quickly gathered my stuff, and headed out the door.  This was easy, I hadn’t even gone to bed yet!  But, when I got in my car, the temperatures had dropped quite a bit and it was raining heavily.  As I got on the highway, there was ice in patches and it was hard to see.  I prayed for safety, protection and for my client to have a wonderful ”butter birth”.  I asked the Lord to put everyone at the right place at the right time, and that I would be able to do what my client needed.  Then, I called my client to check on her and let her know the road conditions, and warn her that I may not be able to get there as fast as I wanted to.  She said things weren’t really bad yet with her contractions, but they were definitely picking up and were stronger and closer together.  Then she asked me if I thought we should go ahead and go to the birth center.  I told her she would have to make this call, but that there would probably be some ice no matter when we went.  She quickly responded, “No, just go ahead and come to my house.”  I was hoping she was progressing nicely, and quite surprised at what long conversations she could have with me without having to put down the phone for a contraction.  She wasn’t even acting irritated in between contractions, as we talked.  We hung up the phone, and I kept driving as fast as I could to get to her, all the while very curious to what the situation was I would find at her house.

Two minutes after we’d hung up the phone, my phone rang again.  “I just spoke to the midwife”, my client reported, “and because of the weather and what’s going on, she wants us to head up to the birth center.  Do you know how to get there, can you meet us there?”  At this point, I was probably very close to arriving at her house.  “Yes”, I replied, “I’ll see you there.”  I turned my car north instead of west, and continued to hurry to my client.  I knew they were behind me, having not left yet, but I knew they’d probably be driving pretty fast. 

The weather definitely got worse as I drove north, and the visibility with all the rain was poor.  It felt like it took forever to get to the center!  I do not like driving by myself in bad weather very late at night!  As I was exiting to the birth center (finally, I had made it!), my phone rang again.  “Cindy, this is ____, ___’s husband.  Where are you?”  His voice was hurried and excited and nervous, all at the same time.  “Turning into the birth center.”  I replied.  “Well, we are at a hospital in southwest Fort Worth.”  I was very confused at this point.  “Okay.”  I replied, thinking whether or not something had gone wrong and why they were still so far behind me.  “We had the baby a few minutes ago.”  He replied, again with excitement.  I was so confused at this point; again, I have had a long day and been driving for quite some time.  I took longer to process what was going on.  It was 1:48AM, only about an hour after her labor had barely started!  “Did you make it into the hospital?”  I questioned.  “Barely.”  He answered.  I could not believe what I was hearing!  All that driving, and I wasn’t going to get to enjoy helping welcome this precious baby boy into the world.  But, as much as I was disappointed to have driven so far and long and have missed the birth, I was so elated for my client that she had had such an incredible, fast birth. 

Still in disbelief, I turned my car around to head back near where I was originally trying to go.  After a lot more driving, I finally arrived at the hospital.  When I walked into my client’s room, I was blessed by her sweet warm smile and her precious baby boy nursing away!  She had the priceless look of love, “I did it” and “I can’t believe it’s over.”

I soon found out that as they were driving to the birth center, she felt a lot of pressure and knew the baby was coming soon.  Her husband asked her if she needed him to pull over at the hospital exit.  She said yes, and then she changed her mind and told him to continue on to the birth center.  But, no sooner than she decided that, she changed her mind again and said, “Just take me to the hospital.”  As they drove up to the emergency room, the baby was crowning.  She barely made it into the ER, and her precious baby boy was born.  Totally different in every way than her first birth!  I told her I was glad she was able to pay attention to what was going on.  I knew she wouldn’t have made it to the birth center, and she would have delivered in her car on a very cold night. 

I was able to enjoy a few hours with them, and got back home at 6:30AM this morning.  We all agree we definitely like birth centers much more than hospitals; however, we are so glad she had such an amazing birth!  As I drove, I couldn’t help but smile and feel such joy and hope.  Maybe my second birth will go that fast…  That was definitely a night to remember, and we will all have something to share with that little boy about the night he was born!